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Talk:Hanna Barbera's Turbo Toons

GA review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Hanna Barbera's Turbo Toons/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: KGRAMR (talk · contribs) 22:35, 4 February 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Shooterwalker (talk · contribs) 01:11, 2 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]


I'll take this one on. Look for my comments in the coming days. Shooterwalker (talk) 01:11, 2 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Let's get started by focusing on the body. Once it's stable, we can come back around for a second pass.
Gameplay
  • "Hanna Barbera's Turbo Toons is a racing featuring Hanna-Barbera characters played from a top-down perspective, similar to Super Sprint with single-player and multiplayer modes." -> This is a mouthful and I think is missing the word game.
    • Let's try splitting it, so the essential information is first.
    • "Hanna Barbera's Turbo Toons is a top-down racing game featuring characters from the Hanna-Barbera cartoons."
    • The rest can appear in the next sentence.
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 20:00, 3 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • " trying to finish in first place while competing for the fastest time ahead of the other racers" -> "finish in first place" is redundant with "ahead of the other racers" and probably also redundant with "competing for the fastest time". You can communicate this idea with just one of these phrases.
 Done -- I settled with the former. Roberth Martinez (talk) 20:00, 3 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • " The players can access an options menu where one of four game modes can be selected: a training mode for novices, a single race mode, a league mode consisting of five tracks in each league, and a battle mode where victory is awarded to the first player to collect 50 crystals" -> "The game features four modes including a training mode, a single race, a league mode with five tracks per league, and a battle mode where players compete to collect 50 crystals."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 20:00, 3 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "bestowing advantages or hindering the players." -> "with different effects on the players."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 19:53, 3 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "passed to another player" -> this is a little unclear. Passing makes it sound like a friendly thing, but it sounds like it's meant to be harmful.
 Done -- The virus is a harmful item. Roberth Martinez (talk) 19:53, 3 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • " The character can be customized by collecting white crystals that lie on the track, and the player can exchange them for better acceleration, higher top speed, improved grip, or more turbo energy" -> "Players also collect white crystals that can be exchanged for upgrades, improving their acceleration, top speed, grip, or turbo energy."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 19:53, 3 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • It might be useful to explain what turbo energy is in a short sentence somewhere.
  • " The players collide with each other and can stun their characters by jumping on them" -> This is a little unclear too. I think we want to make it clear that they can stun rival characters?
 Done -- I clarifyed what that line meant. Roberth Martinez (talk) 19:53, 3 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Each track also has its own obstacles, such as lakes or the appearance of other Hanna-Barbera characters" -> "Each track also has unique obstacles, such as water hazards or other Hanna-Barbera characters who try to interfere."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 19:53, 3 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • Give some additional thought to the organization. For sure it's good to summarize the essence of the game in the first few sentences. It feels like it jumps back and forth between game modes and race mechanics a few times, and I'd encourage you to try to have one solid paragraph about each.
Development and release
  • "It was co-designed by Adrian "Ade" Barritt, who had previously worked on Space Ace (1994) for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System, and Graham Rice." -> "It was co-designed by Graham Rice, as well as Adrian "Ade Barrit", who had..."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 18:36, 3 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • " and the soundtrack was composed by Richard "Champie" Horrocks" -> spin this off into its own sentence, just for readability.
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 19:08, 3 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • " Barritt stated that production began in February 1994, and his goal was to design a five-player game where characters interacted by knocking each other off the track." -> "Production began in February 1994, with Barritt striving to design a five-player racing game where characters could knock each other off the track."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 18:36, 3 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The team borrowed aspects from the racing game Super Sprint, such as the point of view and the ability to collect power-ups during the race, as they thought its concept was cool" -> "The team was inspired by the racing game Super Sprint, including its top-down point of view and power-ups." (Being inspired implies they liked the concept.)
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 18:36, 3 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "as the studio was insistent that the characters looked identical to the originals that led to changes in order to make them look "perfect". -> "as the studio was insistent that the game characters be changed until they became "perfect" duplicates of the original cartoons."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 18:36, 3 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In 1995, Nintendo Magazine System (Official Nintendo Magazine) and Total! magazine wrote that it was released in October of that year." -> this is a weird way of stating it. We don't need to say that someone claimed it was released in Octobr. If it was released in October, then just say it was released in October. If it wasn't released, maybe try to state this in a way that's less confusing.
It is confusing yeah, since Nintendo of Europe never bothered doing a spread sheet detailing every PAL released like how NOA did with the North American SNES releases. Anyway, i arranged it in a way more or less like how i did with the arcade game Hyper Duel, in which i took cues from the Girl's Garden article. Roberth Martinez (talk) 19:15, 3 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
Reception
  • " while also noting the characters' pacifist behavior compared to their television appearances" -> this isn't clear. What is pacifist behavior?
 Done -- Yeah, it doesn't make sense so i decided to remove that particular line. Roberth Martinez (talk) 18:13, 3 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • " Computer and Video Games' Andrew Osmond noted its multiplayer component, but opined that the single-screen races felt restrictive and lacked challenge. Osmond also stated that its bright colors and small characters gave it the impression of a "junior" game." -> "Andrew Osmond of Computer and Video Games criticized the single-screen races for feeling restrictive and lacking challenge, while also noting that the game's small bright character sprites made it seem like a "junior" game."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 18:07, 3 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • " praised the music and highlighted its simultaneous multiplayer mode" -> "but praised the music and simultaneous multiplayer gameplay."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 18:07, 3 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "An editor for Nintendo Magazine System (Official Nintendo Magazine) lambasted Turbo Toons for its poor visuals, music, awkward controls, and lack of depth, writing that "Although it's aimed at a younger market, that's a poor excuse for such a travesty"" -> "An editor for Nintendo Magazine System (Official Nintendo Magazine) criticized Turbo Toons for its poor visuals, music, awkward controls, and lack of depth, stating that "it's aimed at a younger market, [but] that's a poor excuse for such a travesty.""
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 18:07, 3 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • The Superplay sentence could be shorter and more readable -- go with the summary or the quote, but not both.
 Done -- I went for the summary. Roberth Martinez (talk) 18:07, 3 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • " Total!'s Danny Wallace and Andy Dyer criticized the game for its small sprites, bland courses, audio, and dull gameplay, but found its five-player mode to be decent." -> "Total!'s Danny Wallace and Andy Dyer enjoyed its five-player mode, but criticized the game's small sprites, and its dull audio, level design, and gameplay."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 18:07, 3 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
That should get most of the issues. You've done solid work on this so far. Shooterwalker (talk) 15:53, 3 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
@Shooterwalker:OK, first pass done. Ping me when you're ready with the second pass of the article. Roberth Martinez (talk) 20:18, 3 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
Second pass incoming...
Lead
  • "In the game, the players take control of one of six playable characters, each with differing capabilities. The playable Hanna-Barbera characters include Huckleberry Hound, Quick Draw McGraw, Top Cat, Snagglepuss, Hong Kong Phooey, and Yogi Bear. " -> "Multiple players compete in a footrace featuring a choice of six Hanna-Barbera characters, including Huckleberry Hound, Quick Draw McGraw, Top Cat, Snagglepuss, Hong Kong Phooey, and Yogi Bear."
    • Just as a note, it's important to make it clear this is a footrace, and not a vehicle race.
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:25, 4 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "One or five players race in five cups consisting of multiple courses. " -> this is more than enough detail and can be struck from the lead
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:25, 4 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • " During races, the players can obtain crystals that spawn in the tracks and use them to gain an advantage or hinder other opponents." -> "During races, players can also gather crystals that enhance their abilities or harm their opponents."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:25, 4 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "who had previously worked on Space Ace (1994) for the Super NES, " -> probably not important for the lead
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:30, 4 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • " made each character act differently but" -> leave this out too
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:30, 4 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • " lasting six months and concluding in July 1994" -> these both imply the same thing, and we don't need both (at least in the lead).
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:30, 4 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It was slated to be published by Allan in North America but it was not released, despite being rated by the ESRB, while a Sega Mega Drive version was also planned but never released. " -> "Additional versions were planned for release in North America and on the Sega Mega Drive, but were never published."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:30, 4 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • " The game garnered mixed reception from critics." -> this doesn't need much more, but maybe expand it a few words to sum up the major points.
 Done -- I rearranged the line in question. Roberth Martinez (talk) 18:07, 4 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
Body
  • "a single race" -> "a single race mode" (just for consistency – I understand this may have brought us full circle)
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:10, 4 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "a virus that generates a rain cloud that can be transmitted to harm another player" -> "a virus that generates a rain cloud that can harm other players."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:10, 4 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • " The players can stun their characters" -> presumably not their own characters? I think "other" characters.
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:10, 4 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • Turbo energy is still unclear, but then again, a link to turbocharger might do it.
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:10, 4 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • I still think that adding incorrect information (e.g.: " wrote that it was released in October 1995") is misleading for readers. I understand why you're doing it – it's technically a reliable source, and you do put it in context immediately after. But I'd scrap it entirely.
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:10, 4 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
    • To that point, you could transform "... reviewed by Nintendo Power" into "despite being reviewed by multiple sources". (Put the ESRB rating somewhere else, for flow.)
 Done -- I rearranged the lines in question. Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:19, 4 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is the reception really "mixed"? I know the lines are a little fuzzy, but scores like 20/100, 54%, 42%, 53/100, and 5/10 are pretty harsh. 65/100, 77/100, and 76% are less bad, but not great.
 Done -- I changed the line to "Hanna Barbera's Turbo Toons received generally unfavorable reviews from critics". Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:12, 4 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Power Unlimited's Andreas Urhahn said that "Turbo Toons is not okay. The characters are cool but if you know them, you are a bit too old for this nonsense"." -> "Power Unlimited's Andreas Urhahn criticized the game, saying the "characters are cool but if you know them, you are a bit too old for this nonsense""
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 16:59, 4 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • " likable" -> can remove this for flow
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 16:59, 4 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • " after half an hour of gameplay" -> can remove this without losing meaning
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 16:59, 4 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • " and its dull audio" -> "dull audio" -> tighten this for flow
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 16:59, 4 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • Maybe review the reception section one more time to see if there's a better flow for these comments. It feels like a bunch of disparate sentences with no real organization, but maybe there's something you're trying to do that I'm not seeing. If there isn't organization already, I'd consider leading with the "better" reviews (76% and 77/100), with a second paragraph for the negative reviews (65/100 below).
 Done -- I reorganized the reception section, now starting with the more positive commentaries and ending with the more negative ones, taking cues from Metacritic. Roberth Martinez (talk) 16:53, 4 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
That's a second pass. That should get us 95% of the way there, and we can pick up any lingering issues afterwards. Shooterwalker (talk) 15:05, 4 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
@Shooterwalker:Second pass done! Ping me once you come with the third pass of the article. Roberth Martinez (talk) 18:07, 4 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
It's in really solid shape now. Let's give it one last look for any lingering issues.
  • "Multiple players compete in a footrace" -> "Players compete in footraces"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:31, 5 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Barritt's goal was to design a five-player game" -> "Barritt aimed to create a five-player game"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:31, 5 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The team found Hanna-Barbera difficult to work with..." -> can we find a way to make this more consistent with the text in the body? Particular the part about identical versus perfect duplicates.
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:31, 5 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Each with their own characteristics" -> "Each with unique traits"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:31, 5 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Temporary speed, acceleration and grip enhancements, energy boosts, and a virus that generates a rain cloud that can harm other players" -> "Temporary enhancements to speed, acceleration, grip, and energy, as well as a virus that creates a rain cloud to harm other players."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:31, 5 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The players can stun other characters by jumping on each other" -> "Players can stun other characters by jumping on them"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:31, 5 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "upgrades, improving their acceleration, top speed, grip, or turbocharger" -> "upgrades to acceleration, top speed, grip, or turbo."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:31, 5 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • " Barrit" -> watch for consistency. This has two t's, I think.
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:32, 5 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Barritt also acted as the game's sole programmer" -> "Barritt served as the game's sole programmer"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:48, 5 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Rice was responsible for the artwork under guidance of Hanna-Barbera animator Iwao Takamoto" -> "Rice handled the artwork under the guidance of Hanna-Barbera animator Iwao Takamoto"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:48, 5 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Production began in February 1994, with Barritt striving to design" -> "Production began in February 1994, with Barritt aiming to design"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:48, 5 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "found the soundtrack to be boring" -> "found the soundtrack boring"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 18:28, 5 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "said that the game becomes fun with more people" -> "said that the game becomes more enjoyable with more players"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 18:28, 5 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • "faulted the game for lacking substance and its repetitive soundscapes" -> "faulted the game for its lack of substance and its repetitive soundscapes."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 18:28, 5 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
That should be it. The sources generally look good. There's some use of primary sources and databases, but not in a way that is WP:UNDUE, or overly detailed or flattering. Overall it's solid work and I'm very certain it's almost GA now. Shooterwalker (talk) 16:02, 5 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
@Shooterwalker:Third pass done! OK, i'll be on stand-by for your comments. Regarding the Super Gamer interview, that was unfortunately the only interview i came across about the game during my research. And regarding the usage of VGMuseum, i do know that the guy who runs the website has started publishing books containing ending images for SNES game not too long ago (IIRC) via Limited Run Games' book label Press Run so, if he manages to do one for SNES games from 1995 i'll replace it with said book. Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:55, 5 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
I gave it another look, and can confidently say this meets all standards for a good article. Congratulations and great work. Shooterwalker (talk) 12:36, 6 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
@Shooterwalker:Thank you for taking the time to review this article! Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:01, 6 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]
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